This only went to further make him feel as though he wasn’t good enough for Katelynn. The fact her friend was telling him he should get another job for her, because honestly, is painting really a job? He asked for good fees, depending on how difficult the art piece was, but he could never ask for too much. Jack’s was was permanently dyed purple for now, as he listened to her.
“I-I’m not hoping to be a painter I am a p-painter.” he pointed out. “It, it’s how I get my income. I paint for people, I-I do portraits, land-landscapes and-and things. It’s what I a-am and it’s not enough f-for her. It-it’ll never be e-enough for her…” Jack said this, slightly bitterly, as he looks away. “Sh-she’s doing three jobs and s-she’s always so tired a-and even w-when I tell her she s-should drop one sh-she gets upset a-and I don’t want her upset b-but I don’t want her being so ti-tired either…”
“Oh, Jack…” This wasn’t what she wanted. Gracelyn didn’t want to see him reduced to a stuttering little mess. Carefully, she touched his hand, and she only pulled back when she managed to lock up her eyes with his.
“I believe I’m beginning to understand. But you don’t have to drop your work as painter, I never would ask you do that. What I’m trying to say is that sould another work, and keep working as painter. If she finds you getting a second job, she’ll feel sure to drop one at least.” she tried to explain.
“M-maybe…” Jack whispered. But again, who would hire him? Harrison? That… would be so uncomfortable but if he really did give people jobs like that, people he knew, maybe he stood half a chance at getting work that didn’t involve working odd hours and painting from start to finish. Not that he didn’t love it. He loved painting but… painting wasn’t bringing him enough money.
Not any more.
“I just. Want to give her e-everything because I l-love her so much b-but then I see h-how strong and b-beautiful she is and I-I can’t h-help but wonder wh-what I did to de-deserve knowing her a-at all let alone l-loving her. She’s t-the best thing I-I’ve ever h-had and I don’t w-want to lose her to an-anything or an-anyone but ho-how would I fight fo-for her? All I… all I can give her is who I am and… i-it’s not much but it’s all I have…” he looked down at he hand on his, which was shaking slightly. “…I just f-feel so pathetic sometimes.”
Jack Maple 