fire-through-my-veins:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“All I do i-is for her. And… heh…” he smiled faintly, looking away. “She did s-say I’m in touch w-with my more sen-sensitive side. Maybe a bit too much, if, if you ask me but… I really do w-want to do better for her. I want to b-be a stronger man for her. She deserves all the b-best and I know she loves me…” Jack looks back at Grace, smiling still. “And I love her too, m-more than I ever thought I could love anyone because… w-well. I am shy. Terribly so. B… but because of her I’m getting out more. This, this alone…”

He gestures to them sitting here, meeting. “Three m-months ago I never would have d-done this. I used to b-be such a shut in…”

“Changes are good, Jack. I’m really glad she helped you to change. My boyfriend did exactly the same with me…” 

Gracelyn could see the honesty on Jack’s eyes. She could see on them his honesty, his wish to become a better man for Katelynn. And that was something truly touching.

“Tell you what… Some months ago, I was an horrible person. I hated everything and everyone (the only one person I didn’t hate was my daughter Jess…). But the person I hated the most was my own brother. And why? I’ve told myself for years that it was because he’s gay, and those feelings of rejection and hate were projected also on other homosexuals I’ve met. But, was that the true reason why did I hate him? No. I was jealous. Jealous of the fact he had become a better person than me. A man who went to the university, who made his career… Bernie got a life, while I was stuck on my mother’s loss…”

Grace took a moment to take a deep breath, and continue. “But almost three months ago, I’ve met this man. Steve Campbell. His life hadn’t been exactly a path of roses. He had suffered a lot, but still, he was able to leave behind all his past to embrace a life with me and my daughter. We’re living together now. Even Jess began to call him ‘daddy’…” She stopped, blushing a little. “I’m rambling again… right?”

Jack shook his head. “No, n-not rambling. I find it in-interesting, listening to other people and-and how their live’s have changed. It’s… it’s good to change, but not too much. You can’t… really re-redo yourself. If you love someone, and they love you, it sh-should be for who you are. But improvements, i-if they’re needed, can be very good.”

He dug his hand against his chest, digging at the material of his shirt.

“I’ve g-gotten better… for me a-and for Katelynn… which is good. B-but I’m glad t-to hear that you have somebody who cares about you. A-and that you have a daughter! Th-tha’s wonderful. But.. have you made up wi-with your brother…?" 

fire-through-my-veins:

wrapped-in-shadows:

He felt ashamed now for going off the way he had. That was silly. That was weak. Jack shut his eyes as he listened, now and then opening them to look at Grace with an apologetic look on his face, tinted purple as it was. Shakily, he tried, and smiled for her before biting his bottom lip and sighs.

“I’m sorry. I. I didn’t mean to… to go off li-like that… it just… mm. Ha-happens, sometimes… I’m so so-sorry…”

“No need to apologize, dear. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Grace smiled warmly at him and touched his arm, trying to bring him some comfort. “It’s good to be able to express your feelings as you do. It’s a very rare quality, and one of your virtues.” She closed her eyes and sighed a little. The boy really needed to calm down a little. If she was a psychologist, sure she would know how to help him properly.

But all she had was her own experience.

“Trust me, Jack. If there were more men like you in this world, there would be no more wars, hungers and suffering all around. You’re a good person. Now, all you have to do is do all you could do for Katie. She, along with Danielle and Scarlet, is one of my best friends. And I want to know there’s some taking good care of her…”, she finished, smiling.

“All I do i-is for her. And… heh…” he smiled faintly, looking away. “She did s-say I’m in touch w-with my more sen-sensitive side. Maybe a bit too much, if, if you ask me but… I really do w-want to do better for her. I want to b-be a stronger man for her. She deserves all the b-best and I know she loves me…” Jack looks back at Grace, smiling still. “And I love her too, m-more than I ever thought I could love anyone because… w-well. I am shy. Terribly so. B… but because of her I’m getting out more. This, this alone…”

He gestures to them sitting here, meeting. “Three m-months ago I never would have d-done this. I used to b-be such a shut in…”

fire-through-my-veins:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“M-maybe…” Jack whispered. But again, who would hire him? Harrison? That… would be so uncomfortable but if he really did give people jobs like that, people he knew, maybe he stood half a chance at getting work that didn’t involve working odd hours and painting from start to finish. Not that he didn’t love it. He loved painting but… painting wasn’t bringing him enough money.

Not any more.

“I just. Want to give her e-everything because I l-love her so much b-but then I see h-how strong and b-beautiful she is and I-I can’t h-help but wonder wh-what I did to de-deserve knowing her a-at all let alone l-loving her. She’s t-the best thing I-I’ve ever h-had and I don’t w-want to lose her to an-anything or an-anyone but ho-how would I fight fo-for her? All I… all I can give her is who I am and… i-it’s not much but it’s all I have…” he looked down at he hand on his, which was shaking slightly. “…I just f-feel so pathetic sometimes.”

Grace listened to his ramblings patiently, though her soft look ended turning into a glare. How could he say such things about himself? What have the world done to this poor guy’s self-esteem? It hurt her to see him like this, so desperatelly in love, yet unable to love himself completelly.

“Jack, STOP!”, she exclaimed, cutting him a little. “First of all, you AREN’T pathetic. From this on, I want you to look yourself on the mirror and remember all the good things you have. Love yourself a little. Please. Second: if you want to deserve her love, just love her as much as she does you.”

Her expression softened a little. “Every time we’re together, she talks a lot about you. She keeps telling me that you’re the best of her life, and how much she wants to be the woman that you deserve.” Grace leaned a little forward, and smiled. “Jack, you can do this. You have a lot in you, I can see it, Katelynn can see it, everyone who has ever talked to you surely could see it. You’re in this world for a reason: to make Katelynn the happiest woman of this planet. And there’s so many things you can do for her… I think it’s worth it to make some little sacrifices, if it is for Katelynn’s sake. And keep loving her as much as you do. It’s absolutelly beautiful…”

He felt ashamed now for going off the way he had. That was silly. That was weak. Jack shut his eyes as he listened, now and then opening them to look at Grace with an apologetic look on his face, tinted purple as it was. Shakily, he tried, and smiled for her before biting his bottom lip and sighs.

“I’m sorry. I. I didn’t mean to… to go off li-like that… it just… mm. Ha-happens, sometimes… I’m so so-sorry…”