will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

*god the movies made kissing seem so easier didn’t they? but they were meant to be absolutely perfect in every sense of the world. but… yet… for him this was perfect. sitting in his worn bean bag, a colored blanket over their laps, a spilled tray of food on the floor and a pug no doubt plotting to be very smelly later on, within his apartment that smelt of paints and clay… it was perfect.

his arms keep her still, keeps her close, and he draws her just a little bit closer as he presses his lips against hers still, not wanting it to end. but alas, breathing was important. he didn’t want to get dizzy. so he broke the kiss gently, breathing through his nose, as his lips trail for a moment against the corner of her mouth before he backs his head away for a moment*

…w… wow.

Her eyes were clouded, lips slightly puffy from the kiss, her face stained slightly red with only droplets of blush. She shivered in ecstasy, wondering if all first kisses were that magical…no…it was because it was Jack.

Her eyes moved upward to stare at him, lips barely parted. It had felt amazing and she was hoping there would be more. At least more during that moment because she knew for certain there’d be more in the future.

She couldn’t even say anything. He had charmed her into silence so she chose actions instead, lifting a hand to gently trail a finger across his bottom lip.

*he breathed a happy noise through his nose as her finger trailed his lips, which opened beneath it, but made no other move despite wanting to kiss her finger. there were better places to kiss her, now, after all wasn’t there? jack smiled at her, before reaching a hand up to push it through her long, beautiful hair and touch the back of her head*

i told you… never want to let you go.

*and for the second time today, he kissed her again. it was still a little awkward, still very tender and new and wonderful, and it still sent waves of happiness coursing through his body, mind an soul, as he felt her warmth wash over and wrap around him like a warm blanket after a lovely bath*

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

b-bare in mind i’ve… i’ve never done anything like this before…

*maybe it was a good thing he’d gone and… ahem… tended to himself earlier. maybe that’s what made him so relaxed now, making it easier for him to finally tell her, point blank how he felt and how he saw her. plus it certainly helped since normally the mere idea of simply holding her hand the past few days had gotten him excited*

oh… okay…

*he has a few false starts, unsure if you’re meant to press your nose this way, or that way; should he keep his eyes open? shut? in the movies they always shut them but in a few they keep them open. to busy a hand he reaches up and brushes one of her long hairs out of her face, momentarily pausing to brush her cheek with his thumb before he finally just moves forward and bumps his mouth against hers*

It felt awkward yet so right at the same time, her own eyes closing at the sensation of feeling his lips against hers. She wasn’t entirely sure if she was supposed to move or not or let him lead.

Her hands had fallen from his cheeks, weakly, to rest against his chest, gripping the material of his shirt lightly.

Her first kiss…and she was sharing it with someone so special to her; the feelings almost scared her. But she would dwell on those thoughts later as she chose instead to be in this moment, her head moving on its own to press more into his lips.

*god the movies made kissing seem so easier didn’t they? but they were meant to be absolutely perfect in every sense of the world. but… yet… for him this was perfect. sitting in his worn bean bag, a colored blanket over their laps, a spilled tray of food on the floor and a pug no doubt plotting to be very smelly later on, within his apartment that smelt of paints and clay… it was perfect.

his arms keep her still, keeps her close, and he draws her just a little bit closer as he presses his lips against hers still, not wanting it to end. but alas, breathing was important. he didn’t want to get dizzy. so he broke the kiss gently, breathing through his nose, as his lips trail for a moment against the corner of her mouth before he backs his head away for a moment*

…w… wow.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

*his eyes watch hers and he, quickly, looks at her lips as well but just as quickly looks back to her face, that was tinted like a cherry similiar to how his was tinted like a grape. how odd it was that, despite how different they were, they seemed to fit. how glad he was he had stumbled upon her blog when he did, all of her photos, her little entries about he days and things like that. how happy he was taht h, finally, had gotten the courage to message her and ask how she is, how he day is, and now look at them…*

w-well it’s. it’s something you’re going to have to get used to c-cuz i really, really like you like that.

…and i. i’d like to kiss you. a lot. b-but i’m afraid if i do i’m going to hug you and kiss you and never want to let you go again.

She inhales sharply, feeling her body overheat and melt against him, body pressed up nice and tight. No one had ever kissed her, thankfully not even that night.

Her stomach flipped and did turns and somersaults. If someone was going to do it, she couldn’t have asked for a better partner.

“Y-You..can if you want…”

b-bare in mind i’ve… i’ve never done anything like this before…

*maybe it was a good thing he’d gone and… ahem… tended to himself earlier. maybe that’s what made him so relaxed now, making it easier for him to finally tell her, point blank how he felt and how he saw her. plus it certainly helped since normally the mere idea of simply holding her hand the past few days had gotten him excited*

oh… okay…

*he has a few false starts, unsure if you’re meant to press your nose this way, or that way; should he keep his eyes open? shut? in the movies they always shut them but in a few they keep them open. to busy a hand he reaches up and brushes one of her long hairs out of her face, momentarily pausing to brush her cheek with his thumb before he finally just moves forward and bumps his mouth against hers*

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

*he shuts his eyes as she touches his face, and shudders. how her thumbs touch his goatee, that’s new. that’s new and wonderful and he hoped she would do this again for him if anything is to come of this. it feels like it is? he chews at his bottom lip before he opens his eyes and looks at her, his face tinted purple all over again. almost mister grape, but not quite*

s-so… we could take this… just one day at a time…? to.. together?

It was as if he were reading her mind, her eyes blinking as she gazes into his. Her face melts into a soft smile, her tears drying. She couldn’t believe something so wonderful was happening to her.

“Yes. We can..see where this goes..because I really do like you Jack..a lot..I’m still just..trying to wrap my mind around it..No one’s ever liked me before..I mean..not like that…”

And she blushed, her palms merely resting on his cheeks. Her eyes wandered to his lips and she tried to avert her eyes, her blush deepening into a nice cherry color.

*his eyes watch hers and he, quickly, looks at her lips as well but just as quickly looks back to her face, that was tinted like a cherry similiar to how his was tinted like a grape. how odd it was that, despite how different they were, they seemed to fit. how glad he was he had stumbled upon her blog when he did, all of her photos, her little entries about he days and things like that. how happy he was taht h, finally, had gotten the courage to message her and ask how she is, how he day is, and now look at them…*

w-well it’s. it’s something you’re going to have to get used to c-cuz i really, really like you like that.

…and i. i’d like to kiss you. a lot. b-but i’m afraid if i do i’m going to hug you and kiss you and never want to let you go again.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

*and he pulled her closer to him, his arms still wrapped around her, wishing her shaking would stop. was he helping anything? was he ruining this wonderful friendship he’d made? if she only wanted to be his friend, if that was all she really wanted then he’d be fine with that… enough. his heart may break, he may suffer another rejection that would push him deep into his work again but… if it meant staying close to her, to still watch movie and go to cafes and walk Roxy out in the street with he he’d do it. he’d do anything*

y-yes. i am…

*but then the self doubt returned. like a tsunami wave crashing around him. he pulled back, only just, so he could see her face even if it was tear streaked*

…b-but a… are you all right w-with me like that? i’m… i’m not a genius. i’m not confident. i’m not rich. i’m… i’m almost thirty and the closest i’ve gotten with a girl is what i’m doing now, just holding you and.. you deserve so much better than me but… all i’ve got is to give you what i am.

that’s all.

Her eyes widened, realizing how selfish she was being. She hadn’t even considered his feelings. She brought both of her hands up to cup his cheeks, her thumbs stroking his skin and goatee.

“Jack…I’ve already told you how amazing you are…I don’t expect riches..or experience..I actually don’t have any myself..you might be more experienced than I am having seem all those romance movies…” And she smiles through her tears to show she’s joking a bit.

*he shuts his eyes as she touches his face, and shudders. how her thumbs touch his goatee, that’s new. that’s new and wonderful and he hoped she would do this again for him if anything is to come of this. it feels like it is? he chews at his bottom lip before he opens his eyes and looks at her, his face tinted purple all over again. almost mister grape, but not quite*

s-so… we could take this… just one day at a time…? to.. together?

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

b-but i have met other girls. i have seen and talked to them in my life. i, i may be a guy who lives inside most of the time but in my work, and lately? Katelynn, i met Roxanne. Roxanne Ritchi. a-a woman i’ve admired for years and when i met her? a-all i could think about was what you were doing. i used to dream a-and hope that if i met that woman i could be something to her but i’m not even that.

i like you because you’re you. b-because you took the time to get to know me, to talk to me, y-you got me outside for the first time in months so easily. d-do you have any idea what my doctors would say if they knew this? they’d b-be wanting to give you an award for having me go out. b-before you the last time i went out was a month ago. a month, Katelynn.

now i’m out there, each day, b-because you showed me there is good out there. because you’re out there.

Roxanne Ritchie? She knew of her, having admired her as well for her beauty, poise, confidence. Jack had liked her but chosen herself instead? Where was this confidence in him coming from?

She tried to open her mouth, the words stuck on her tongue but she sniffled instead, unsure of herself. She had done the same comparison not even a hour ago, hadn’t she? Her feelings for Harrison Drake had been slowly fading, being pushed aside by the man holding her and she hadn’t even known it.

No wonder she had felt a pain in her chest when thinking of setting him up with girls.

“You’re really fine with me? Me?”

Why did she insist on making this hard? She liked Jack, she did. But was it a crush? She snuggled into him a bit, searching for the answer inside herself.

*and he pulled her closer to him, his arms still wrapped around her, wishing her shaking would stop. was he helping anything? was he ruining this wonderful friendship he’d made? if she only wanted to be his friend, if that was all she really wanted then he’d be fine with that… enough. his heart may break, he may suffer another rejection that would push him deep into his work again but… if it meant staying close to her, to still watch movie and go to cafes and walk Roxy out in the street with he he’d do it. he’d do anything*

y-yes. i am…

*but then the self doubt returned. like a tsunami wave crashing around him. he pulled back, only just, so he could see her face even if it was tear streaked*

…b-but a… are you all right w-with me like that? i’m… i’m not a genius. i’m not confident. i’m not rich. i’m… i’m almost thirty and the closest i’ve gotten with a girl is what i’m doing now, just holding you and.. you deserve so much better than me but… all i’ve got is to give you what i am.

that’s all.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

d-don’t say that, don’t ever think that! *oh that’s it. he’s putting his arms around her, pulling her into him, uncaring if the tray uptips or anything else happens around them. Roxy can eat all the cheese on the floor she wants, he’d just stick her outside later* Katelynn, i, i don’t, i know i can’t erase what’s happened to you, whatever it was or whatever it is that people h-have told you i’m not a genius n-nor am i a brainiac who can make machines like that to do it.

but you are wonderful, to me, y-you’re amazing. you’re so caring to everyone, you’re the high light of, of my day when you call me or text me and, and when you come around it always makes me so h-happy and i haven’t been this happy with anyone in all my life.

i’m sorry, i’m sorry i can’t make you forget what happened or what’s been said b-but i’m here now and. and i’d do anything i can to make you feel better, now, b-because i love seeing you happy and smiling and seeing you like this is breaking my heart. please, don’t, *he has to move an arm, trying to wipe her eyes with his sleeve as he holds it* d-don’t cry because of me.

She tried her best not to sob, willing the memories to go away and enjoy being here with him, closing her eyes to allow his arms to keep her safe from the pain. He was just too wonderful. Not even two weeks and this man was confessing his feelings for her. Was it too soon? Was this normal? She had never been in a relationship to really know and didn’t watch romance movies like he did.

She had no clue.

She was a jumbled mess of emotions and they just kept leaking out of her eyes as she bit on her bottom lip as it quivered. He was so selfless it broke her own heart.

“Jack…” She whispered painfully, looking back up at him with her large brown eyes, the golden flecks in them shining through with the moisture. “…you don’t…need to be a genius…you’re fine the way you are…”

It was always what she was doing; complimenting him. Did he ever tire of hearing the same thing from her?

“I just..how do I know you don’t just like me..because I was probably one of the first girls you talked to…?” She asked, having just contemplated this. If it had been someone else, would he have fallen for them instead?

She found she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.

b-but i have met other girls. i have seen and talk to them in my life. i, i may be a guy who lives inside most of the time but in my work, and lately? Katelynn, i met Roxanne. Roxanne Ritchi. a-a woman i’ve admired for years and when i met her? a-all i could think about was what you were doing. i used to dream a-and hope that if i met that woman i could be something to her but i’m not even that.

i like you because you’re you. b-because you took the time to get to know me, to talk to me, y-you got me outside for the first time in months so easily. d-do you have any idea what my doctors would say if they knew this? they’d b-be wanting to give you an award for having me go out. b-before you the last time i went out was a month ago. a month, Katelynn.

now i’m out there, each day, b-because you showed me there is good out there. because you’re out there.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

j-joke? i… n-no, Katelynn no, *he reaches for her but it’s obvious he doesn’t know what to do; can he touch her now, or did he just ruin this? did he totally destroy the only thing that made him smile besides his art?* i-i’m not joking. why, why would i joke about this? i-i’m not bad, i’m not a joker about things like this…!

“Because…I’m damaged goods…” She blinked, the tears falling down her cheeks now. “I’m..not girlfriend material…”

She remembered the stares of her co-workers, the comments behind her back about her looks, her personality, saying how she would never land a boyfriend and would probably die an old maid. They figured she was an easy target because she was so meek that they could say whatever they wanted and she wouldn’t do a thing against them.

She had kept the smile, however, trying to be as friendly as possible so they would change their opinion. Her father taught her that you always attracted flies better with sugar than with dirt. And she had kept that saying in her mind as a reminder.

And she had long since accepted that no one would ever be attracted to her.

“How can..someone as wonderful as you like someone like me..?”

d-don’t say that, don’t ever think that! *oh that’s it. he’s putting his arms around her, pulling her into him, uncaring if the tray uptips or anything else happens around them. Roxy can eat all the cheese on the floor she wants, he’d just stick her outside later* Katelynn, i, i don’t, i know i can’t erase what’s happened to you, whatever it was or whatever it is that people h-have told you i’m not a genius n-nor am i a brainiac who can make machines like that to do it.

but you are wonderful, to me, y-you’re amazing. you’re so caring to everyone, you’re the high light of, of my day when you call me or text me and, and when you come around it always makes me so h-happy and i haven’t been this happy with anyone in all my life.

i’m sorry, i’m sorry i can’t make you forget what happened or what’s been said b-but i’m here now and. and i’d do anything i can to make you feel better, now, b-because i love seeing you happy and smiling and seeing you like this is breaking my heart. please, don’t, *he has to move an arm, trying to wipe her eyes with his sleeve as he holds it* d-don’t cry because of me.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

… *he lets go of her hand, and shuts his eyes* n-no. no. Katelynn i. i like you. really, really like you. y-you make me feel normal. you’ve give… given me strength to go after what i wanted a, and you’ve been nothing but kind to me b-but if you just want to stay my friend and only my friend please, tell me now. *opens his eyes and looks at her* because, i, i would be your boyfriend. if, if you wanted me to be. b-but if you just want me as a friend, that.. i can do that.

The room fell away from her then and there was no movie, no paint smell, no Roxy.

Just them.

She blushed deeply, bringing her hands up to her cheeks to attempt to hide it, looking away from him and fidgeting nervously. There was no way…No way he liked her..Like a boyfriend? She’d never had a boyfriend before. And he wanted to be her boyfriend? She couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t someone people tended to love.

Tears prickled the corners of her eyes. “I-If this is some joke..it isn’t funny…I’m..I’m not…the type people like..like that…”

j-joke? i… n-no, Katelynn no, *he reaches for her but it’s obvious he doesn’t know what to do; can he touch her now, or did he just ruin this? did he totally destroy the only thing that made him smile besides his art?* i-i’m not joking. why, why would i joke about this? i-i’m not bad, i’m not a joker about things like this…!