will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“…I was a bit relieved but a bit sad too.” Jack said honestly, looking down at his hands. “I. I didn’t want you to be burdened with something like that so early on in our relationship. I blamed myself, for, for your ‘pregnancy’ but for so long I’ve wondered if I would ever… have children. Not just because I’m an alien but, but because of who I was. I mean. Which woman would want me? But then, then you show up and you accept me and love me and kiss me and let me touch you. And then we think you’re pregnant and a part of me was so happy.”

He rubs at his ear, looking at the floor. “But it was too early. Too soon. Too fast for us. M. Maybe one day, when we’re married, we can really try for one? When the time is right. Of course.”

“….I’d like that,” she said, after a pregnant pause, just listening to his words and how he had felt. It made her happy, to hear what he had to say on the subject, made her more than happy in fact, to know he had wanted it as much as her and seemed to think the same way; these mixed feelings of happiness but also fear and worry of it being too soon.

“When we’re ready, I’d love to have your child Jack..” she continued softly, her voice filled with so much affection like a warm caress to his skin. She held his journal close, giving him a loving smile.

He smiled at her warmly before reaching out, and wrapped an arm around her, before pulling her in against him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Yeah when we’re ready. I’m in no rush to share you with anyone just yet, Katelynn… I guess I’m a little selfish like that… sorry.” he whispered the last part. “I’ve just never had anyone like you in my life before, and I’m a little worried at times that you’ll find someone better then me. Stupid fear, I know it is but… lifetime of being alone you can’t help but feel that way.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

He smiled faintly and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess… oh, here… here…”

Jack reached and turned a few pages, moving towards the back. He stops on a page and settles back. It has sketches of Katelynn, nothing sensual, nor sexual, just her sitting there. Some have her smiling. Others have her partly shadowed.

One has her with a swollen stomach. Jack reaches and gently taps that one. “That’s… back from when we thought you were pregnant.” he says quietly. 

She stares at it a while, her face slowly growing red with every passing second. “Y-You imagined me like that..?” she whispered, truly amazed. “B-But I thought you were relieved..I wasn’t..”

She had mixed feelings about the drawing. It was beautiful, done with sentiment, but at the same time it showed what could have been and how happy she would have been to carry Jack’s child. She shook her head though, banishing the thought. She had agreed long ago that it wasn’t meant to be for now. She had to stop wishing for something that might happen in the future if Jack really still wanted her by then.

They had to be together first, just the two of them, and enjoy each other before a child tied them down.

“…I was a bit relieved but a bit sad too.” Jack said honestly, looking down at his hands. “I. I didn’t want you to be burdened with something like that so early on in our relationship. I blamed myself, for, for your ‘pregnancy’ but for so long I’ve wondered if I would ever… have children. Not just because I’m an alien but, but because of who I was. I mean. Which woman would want me? But then, then you show up and you accept me and love me and kiss me and let me touch you. And then we think you’re pregnant and a part of me was so happy.”

He rubs at his ear, looking at the floor. “But it was too early. Too soon. Too fast for us. M. Maybe one day, when we’re married, we can really try for one? When the time is right. Of course.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

Jack sits there besides her, watching as she looks over his jumbled half awake words, and the sketches which start small, but are then redrawn, bigger on the page. And as he said, there were butterflies on practically every single page.

“I think I dream about them,” he said after a moment, “because I’ve wanted to become better for so long.”

“Fly as free as a butterfly? Fleeting wings against the sky in the soft light of day?” she asked, really touched by how beautiful it all was, even if it was messy, even with all the markings and half awake words, this was beautiful and it caused her heart to beat faster.

He smiled faintly and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess… oh, here… here…”

Jack reached and turned a few pages, moving towards the back. He stops on a page and settles back. It has sketches of Katelynn, nothing sensual, nor sexual, just her sitting there. Some have her smiling. Others have her partly shadowed.

One has her with a swollen stomach. Jack reaches and gently taps that one. “That’s… back from when we thought you were pregnant.” he says quietly. 

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“Sure, I mean. There’s nothing obscene or rude…” he said quietly, “It’s just mostly words and a few drawings when I can remember them…”

She looks down at it, reading beautiful words and seeing his talent for drawing on the pages. How she always envied his drawing and painting skills. “It’s like poetry,” she whispers, reading a certain beautiful passage.

The butterfly obtains
But little sympathy
Though favorably mentioned
In Entomology —

Because he travels freely
And wears a proper coat
The circumspect are certain
That he is dissolute —

Had he the homely scutcheon
Of modest Industry
‘Twere fitter certifying
For Immortality

Jack sits there besides her, watching as she looks over his jumbled half awake words, and the sketches which start small, but are then redrawn, bigger on the page. And as he said, there were butterflies on practically every single page.

“I think I dream about them,” he said after a moment, “because I’ve wanted to become better for so long.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“Oh. Sure!”

He moves to his bedside drawers and opens the bottom drawer. Pulling out a scrap book he hands it over to her. It’s average size but it has a date written on the front. March 2010 — but didn’t show an end date. 

“Here you go.”

Smiles and takes it gently, opening it to the first day. “I-It’s really okay to read something so private?” she asks before her eyes can begin reading the words and look at any pictures before her.

“Sure, I mean. There’s nothing obscene or rude…” he said quietly, “It’s just mostly words and a few drawings when I can remember them…”

“A dream journal? Can I read it sometime?”

“Oh. Sure!”

He moves to his bedside drawers and opens the bottom drawer. Pulling out a scrap book he hands it over to her. It’s average size but it has a date written on the front. March 2010 – but didn’t show an end date. 

“Here you go.”