will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“No.” Jack’s voice shook with a timbre she never heard before. “Katelynn, no. Don’t. Ever. Ever compare yourself to that woman. Ever. You’re scared. You’re just scared, that’s all… y-you’re not like her. You’re not. I won’t ever let you become like that. I’ll love you as hard as I can for the rest of my life to show you that you aren’t like her…”

She was stunned, seeing how much it affected him that she had said that. Something so small to her had caused such a reaction in him. It stunned her into silence, unable to reply. What did one say to that? She clung to him desperately, trying to hold tears at bay over how wonderful he was to her.

And they held each other, both needing one another at this time, unable to pull away. No matter what it was that life had in store for them, be it a baby or not, Katelynn would have to know by now that Jack would be there for her, never faltering. He may stutter, and mumble, and shy back at the idea of large gatherings but she was someone he would never let down for as long as he lived.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

He opened his eyes slowly, and made a ‘hmm’ sound. “Abortion was never an option in my mind either… a, a life that barely knows about life shouldn’t pay for the mistakes of its parents… o-only if it’s a medical problem, or, or the mother really can’t have it should they consider that as a resort… b-but only then.” Jack said quietly.

“But for this, for us, I wouldn’t ask that of you if you are. I’d still sell all my things for you. For the baby.”

“Jack,” she began, her heart breaking slightly at his words, “You don’t need to sell your things. We’ll make it work somehow if I am..I can cut back on some things and just get a second job or pull more hours at my original one. I can do it so you don’t have to sell anything, okay? Well I mean, other than your paintings.” She smiled up at him, hoping it would bring one from him.

“I want you to continue doing what you do and not be too affected by my mistake.”

“Stop calling it a mistake. A baby is never a mistake. A baby is a gift. That one singular sperm out of millions would reach a single cell, an egg, merge with it and begin a chain reaction that results in the birth of one singular being who will know joy, pain, sorry, love, laughter, tears, feel the seasons shift… that… that isn’t a mistake. It can’t be.”

Jack kissed her cheek, her temple, her forehead, shutting his eyes. “I-I’m not saying that to be mean but please don’t call it that. I’m just as responsible for this as you are and I’m not going to let you stress and overwork. It won’t be fair for you or the baby. If there is one.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“A part of me is hoping but… a bigger part is hoping you aren’t. We’re… we’re still so new to this relationship and I don’t think a baby is a good idea, s-so early on. One… one day, if. If we get married, and… and have a life together, then I’d be s-so happy to have a child with you and raise it. But like… like I said… not yet… if we can help it… but if you are I’m going to be here.” Jack spoke softly, holding her close, pressing his lips to her temple once he paused in his speaking. His voice was soft, gentle, soothing, and supportive as his arms around her.

“I’ll never abandon you, Katelynn.”

It made her heart melt, hearing him say that, and she closed her eyes, placing her hands on his arms to cling to him softly. “Thank you..”

He was right, of course. They were still too new to this relationship. She wasn’t ready for a child. She couldn’t afford one. She needed more experience with kids and time alone with her boyfriend first.

“Guess we’ll see..when we get home..thank you for not asking me about abortion either..I don’t think I could ever do that to a baby.. it’s still life, you know?”

He opened his eyes slowly, and made a ‘hmm’ sound. “Abortion was never an option in my mind either… a, a life that barely knows about life shouldn’t pay for the mistakes of its parents… o-only if it’s a medical problem, or, or the mother really can’t have it should they consider that as a resort… b-but only then.” Jack said quietly.

“But for this, for us, I wouldn’t ask that of you if you are. I’d still sell all my things for you. For the baby.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“I’m sorry I upset you…” Jack said quietly. “I didn’t mean to it’s just… this is big news. If it is news at all.” he reached over, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and around her front, pulling her into him gently. “…do you hope you are, or…?”

“I-I’m not sure..” she responds quietly, snuggling into him. “I’m just scared..I’m don’t know if I’ll be a good mom considering my lack of example..I don’t know anything about kids..but..every time I think it’s your kid…it makes me happy still..I’ve already tried talking to it sometimes as if it’s there..I’m kind of mixed..A-Are you hoping…? Well maybe not really, right? It’s a huge responsibility…”

Her voice drifted off, feeling ashamed again that it was her fault for all of this, considering she felt she was pushing responsibility on him.

“A part of me is hoping but… a bigger part is hoping you aren’t. We’re… we’re still so new to this relationship and I don’t think a baby is a good idea, s-so early on. One… one day, if. If we get married, and… and have a life together, then I’d be s-so happy to have a child with you and raise it. But like… like I said… not yet… if we can help it… but if you are I’m going to be here.” Jack spoke softly, holding her close, pressing his lips to her temple once he paused in his speaking. His voice was soft, gentle, soothing, and supportive as his arms around her.

“I’ll never abandon you, Katelynn.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

Jack smiled, shutting his eyes as she petted his bristly chin. His beard grew relatively quick, if he didn’t shave it in a month he was sure it would be reaching up to his ears. “Mmm. Well. I’ll think about it a bit more when we get back. After we get the news.” he added.

Her hand stilled before dropping against her lap. “Y-Yeah..the news..Yeah that sounds like a good idea…” she agreed, feeling fear in the pit of her stomach.

“I’m sorry I upset you…” Jack said quietly. “I didn’t mean to it’s just… this is big news. If it is news at all.” he reached over, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and around her front, pulling her into him gently. “…do you hope you are, or…?”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“Maybe one day.” he whispered, about seeing where she grew up. But not whilst her mother was there. He wouldn’t subject Katelynn to that again, or else he may forget he’s a gentleman and say, or do, something he’d later not really regret.

“…yes. I still want to.” he said with a nod. “I need to see him.”

“It’s too bad he doesn’t have a cell phone for me to contact him with,” she lamented, looking up at Jack and stroking his chin gently. “We’re probably going to have to make that a completely spontaneous visit. He seems really happy with the idea of seeing you. I think it’s enough for him, seeing you happy.”

Jack smiled, shutting his eyes as she petted his bristly chin. His beard grew relatively quick, if he didn’t shave it in a month he was sure it would be reaching up to his ears. “Mmm. Well. I’ll think about it a bit more when we get back. After we get the news.” he added.

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“Hmm.” Jack smiled and nodded before looking out the window again. He felt a mixed feeling leaving. He’d liked the visit, seeing Gail, the town, even Sally (to some extent) and being with Katelynn in the house he had grown up in. He felt sad leaving, though. It was odd. But he could always come back. And Katelynn would be there with him. He smiled softly, and held her hand in his. “…thank you for coming with me.”

She returned the smile, leaning forward to kiss his scruffy chin, the hairs tickling her. “Thank you for taking with you…I was able to learn so much about you..and be there for you..I wish I could take you to where I grew up but…I’d rather never return there,” she said, shrugging to show it wasn’t a big deal.

“But what about what started this whole trip? When you said you wanted to see Vycter?”

“Maybe one day.” he whispered, about seeing where she grew up. But not whilst her mother was there. He wouldn’t subject Katelynn to that again, or else he may forget he’s a gentleman and say, or do, something he’d later not really regret.

“…yes. I still want to.” he said with a nod. “I need to see him.”

will-never-be-a-swan:

wrapped-in-shadows:

“We should.” he agreed gently, stroking his thumb against her hand gently. “Though planning a spontaneous moment kind of defeats the purpose… b-but yes. I agree. Again, most definitely.” he smiles at her softly, before looking back out at the world passing them by.

She groaned, putting a free hand to her forehead after blushing. “I sort of realized it after I said it…but I’m glad you know what I mean,” she giggled softly, still feeling awkward.

“Hmm.” Jack smiled and nodded before looking out the window again. He felt a mixed feeling leaving. He’d liked the visit, seeing Gail, the town, even Sally (to some extent) and being with Katelynn in the house he had grown up in. He felt sad leaving, though. It was odd. But he could always come back. And Katelynn would be there with him. He smiled softly, and held her hand in his. “…thank you for coming with me.”